Hello and long time no talk!
Just over a year ago, I had recently completed a How-to Blogging course, and considered myself well on my way to achieving a long awaited personal goal of having an active Blog. Everything was in place, and most important, I felt pretty confident. I was excited to get this show on the road, throwing caution to the wind and finally give this personal project a try. Confidence Schmonfidence…
…and then life happened.
All I will tell you is that I was challenged in a way I had NEVER expected, and I hope very few people ever are. And when that happened, I had to make a choice; quickly and with virtually no time to think about it. That choice was to put this personal project on hold and live fully in the experience I was given. But that’s not what this is about, so on to the next topic.
Fast forward a full year, and I can honestly say that what I’ve experienced has only made me more ready to make this Blog – and a bunch of other things – happen. I couldn’t be more thankful for the experiences of the past year. It has only validated the clarity of my perspective when I launched this baby back in late 2018.
Today, after some undeniably defining periods in my life, I now bring something much more valuable to this WiseGuy experience – I bring resolve.
Did I plan to pause for an entire year?
Hell No.
In fact, I made the conscious decision to remove any pressure of time, so I could remain focused on the present. It just so happened that the series of events that unfolded throughout 2019 allowed me to compartmentalize an important and introspective period in my life. A year where I just happened to turn 50. Not something I’ve put much weight toward, just an interesting observation.
In my less mindful moments I would start to think about the right time to jump back in, sometimes obsessively. And every time making the key reason for waiting to prove to myself that I could be patient – not a characteristic that comes easily to me. To wait for it to just happen. For that moment for something to occur, when I would just know it was time.
… and then that moment occurred.
On January 4, 2020, the one person I looked up to most, all my life, passed away. The beautiful human being who is and always will be my Mother. My mentor, my number-one fan, my friend.
< Jackie and me, c. 1992
The month since her passing, has been an emotional one for me and my family, but not necessarily in ways I’d expected. Sadness was definitely my immediate reaction. But then – remarkably quickly – positive emotions overtook the sadness. Feelings like:
Relief: At 88, her health was rapidly declining and she’d told me many times she was ‘ready to go’.
Happiness: I truly believed and still do, without any dogmatic pressure, that she was now in a place she wanted to be – wherever that was.
Ultimate Joy: In the endless memories I have of her, I started to feel that joy giving me strength. Strength not in getting over her death, but in celebrating her joy, and carrying it forward.
Therein lies my spark to get back to Creative Pause:
Joy: Seeking it, creating it, and paying it forward through meaningful content and creative work.
Creative Pause is my personal ‘Joy’ Project, and I can’t wait to get this show (back) on the road!
Let’s get to it! And let’s have some fun.
“See” you next week!
SP Wiseguy